esmeralda sinn, supernatural romance, chastity thorne

asleep alla slepp now told alissa good bye why did she invitethme can;t blame herwh it was a nmitsake i think it's how this works i drank too much god it is a fucking nightmaremaybe i; won't right this.  so tonight mom says hey remenber rember how hester little hess hessie hester when she got mad when she through  a fit  she waold craawl into the storage space under the trailer do you remenber haha it was veruyf unny evryttime Lucia made hester cry she would crawl into the stoage space underneathn  the trailer hoise and her daddy liket o nnevr got her out of it everytime very funny haha all laugh lets' all laugh at hester  hester hey hester hes hey hes hheyhs hester GOD DAMN IT I HAVE NOT BEE N HESTER HESTER FORE 20 YEARS WHY DO THEY KEEP CALLING ME THAT MOM AND DMAD AND GRNAMDA AND GRAMDPA LUCOIA OH YES LUCIA I KNWO WHY SHE CALLS ME HESTER BEUSE SHJE EXICTS ONLY TO MAKE MY LIFE HMISERALS aahfpaul liek paul in high schOOL I'M GOJN NNA MARRY YOU HE TOLD ME WER'E KGOINNA GET MARRIED PAUL AND I ARE ETTIBG MARIIED ANDAND WHEB I ASKED LUCIA ABOUT HIM THGEY BROKE UP AFTER I WENT O COLLEGE and i have to wach i have to keppi g watching her i have to or she;ll ruing it all icant trust menelays and no no ic ant' teust him because he dosn;t love me love is a lie a slie is alie a myth a fabrication a coneit love exisfs onyl in books like vampire sand werevwolves and they;'re not real thaey are the collected misinterprtation of varios uncnany inciedents and facts maed thr0ouhout countless genrations infinite individuals of an entire species and they vtrick themselves into believing in vampires and werewovles and love and love and lvoe is the last onethe one theyh won't not belive in evnt hough it's just as fake i know this i know this ive known this for a long long time
esmeralda sinn, supernatural romance, chastity thorne

17 days!!!

Yes, yes, I know, Loves, this is the point where you've come to expect something from me -- a little bit of fiction or an excerpt from my great works past.  But you must understand, things are entirely too busy around the Sinn Ranch now.  The wedding guests will begin to arrive on Monday for a two-week retrospective over mine and Menelaus's careers, culminating in the wedding on the 31st!  Menelaus has invited his friends and family, of course, and I've made it a point to invite some of my old friendly rivals like that prude Barbara Winterhaven [whose Cry to the Moon books are, I will grudgingly admit, somewhat fun to read -- I'm sure you feel the same way, Barb! ;)].  I've been busy working with the landscapists and the wedding planners -- we've spared no expense! -- and I am really eager to see everything finally come to its rightful conclusion.  Also I should mention here my dear assistant Alissa, who has been instrumental in everything that has happened so far!  Everyone, applaud a little for Alissa, I implore you!

It is really hard for me to express to you all exactly how it is I feel right now.  Have you ever thought that your entire life was simply leading up to one moment, one single instant during which your purpose and your future become forever clear, and you can rest easy knowing that everything will be okay from here on out?  Yes, it's exactly like that!  I have Menelaus with me now, and I don't need anything else.

This love... it's what I've been waiting for my whole life.

esmeralda sinn, supernatural romance, chastity thorne


Hello, Loves, it's wonderful to see you all again!

I am writing this from my hotel room in Los Angeles, California.  Beside me, Menelaus Parks is at his own laptop, hard at work on his next gripping tale of romance (I've read a few chapters, and let me tell you, it is assuredly his best yet).  Alissa, the dear girl, is in her own room a few floors down going over all the necessary paperwork.

Necessary paperwork or what, you may ask?

Why, my motion picture, of course.

Yes, that's right, my first bestselling novel, The Werewolves of Deceit, is currently in development at a major studio!  After writing the treatment for the past few weeks, I came here to LA to present the project to some executive friends of Menelaus's, and they accepted it without question.  With Trueblood and the Vampire Diaries on the air and the next work in Stephenie Meyer's film opus due in theaters shortly, it seems the time for supernatural romance has come, Loves!  We are ascendant!

Of course, the good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away: my personal choice for playing Werewolves' lead, Chad Beauremont, Patrick Swayze, passed away yesterday, mere hours after I signed my contract.  I assure you, Loves, I wept so loudly that even Alissa, two floors down, could hear me!  To balance that out, let us take here a moment of silence, as we remember Swayze in his myriad roles over the years that have made us laugh and cry.  I know his impression on me was indelible -- my early novel Fango Tango was described by one critic as "Dirty Dancing, but with vampires."


After our respects have been paid (I hope you paused above), I do have one more piece of big news.  You may be thinking to yourselves, my, Esme sure does have an exciting life!  A movie deal, a picturesque wedding at the end of the next month, fame as a skillful and beloved American literary treasure, what more "news" could she possibly have?!

Well, as many of you may know, though I am a frequent bestseller (often topping such luminaries as Dean Koontz on the NYT Bestseller list) none of my works has yet to appear as an audiobook.  In order to coincide with my new fame as a feature-film screenwriter and the second book of the Chastity Thorne series (which has a bigger print run than anything I've ever done before) by agent, Jackie Passey, has managed to sell the audio rights to a certain forthcoming work of mine.

Could you guess what it is, Loves?

Go on, please.

Do try.

That's right.

Centaurgy.  The book that I've been hinting at for nearly fifteen years has finally been finished!  For a decade and a half I have labored over this, my magnum opus, the most epic story I have ever conceived.  It was  large project, obviously, and the finished manuscript clocks in at about 1,500 pages, but I've turned it into my publisher and we'll be good to go next year, with print and audio versions being released on the same day.

But Esme, you say, 1,500 pages is a lot of pages!  Who would have the strength to read so much -- whose voice would carry enough force to see your epic vision through till the end?

Do not fret, Loves, as the publishers had these same concerns.  That is why they secured renowned veteran actor of the stage and screen, Ira Zweibel!  You may remember Mr. Zweibel and his gravelly voice from his trademark performance as Moses in The Ten Commandments on Broadway, or even from some of his well-known film roles, such as Liam Neeson's mysterious rival in Mr. O'Donnell's Walk, the kind-hearted grandfather in High as an Elephant's Eye, the forbidding army general Blutgauer in the World War II epic I Cry for Manchuria, or most recently as the folksy, advice-giving high school janitor in the romantic comedy, Seen Girls.

Mr. Zweibel has already been into the studio to record a few select chapters, and Jackie has passed them onto me so I can see how they're going.  I've gotten the all-clear to share one of the recordings here with you now -- the chapter may seem like it spoils a lot, but don't worry, it's only 1/4 of the way through the novel's entirety, and there are plenty more twists and turns to come!  (Please, also note, that the excerpt's content may be a little too spicy for younger readers, so any of you girls who have only read Twilight, close the window now!)

Please, Loves, enjoy!  Remember, the world is a beautiful place, and if you only think positively, everything will work out for you.  It's certainly helped me!


esmeralda sinn, supernatural romance, chastity thorne

The Desires of the Doppelganger

Hello again, Loves!

I can barely believe that I have been blogging for a whole year. My, how the time does fly! Think back on all that has happened; I have met my one true love, Mr. Menelaus Parks, and in short order we arranged to be wed. Only two months and some change until that momentous day! Alissa is still compiling a guest list, but she assures me that the invitations will be sent out soon so all of Menelaus' friends and mine can come together to celebrate our union. Of course, work on the West Lawn proceeds apace, and it's all looking stupendous; I'll have to ask Alissa if she can set up a webcamera or something to that effect in order to "aliveblog" the wedding. Oh, and if you can believe it, one of the lawnworkers approached me (ME! PERSONALLY!) the other day and had the gall to ask if we could do something about the badgers. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, I don't know anything about any badgers, but apparently there's a nest somewhere on my estate and they keep stealing the landscaptists' lunches or some such thing. I told him I have yet to see such badgers, but the second I did I would hire a pest control expert.

Oh, and what else can I gush about! I know! We've already purchased the wedding gown, of course, and all of the bridesmaid dresses. I look fabulous, of course, but what really surprised me was Alissa. She looks good in a dress, believe it or not -- when we were at the tailor's together I made a comment about how we need to hasten her own transition from bridesmaid to bride. Oh, you would not believe how much she blushed! Loves, believe me, sometimes I even make myself blush!

And even though Menelaus has told me not to say anything about it, I will hint to you here that we have something very special planned for next month, a veyr special announcement -- but I can't say anything more than that, or Menny will be ever so cross with me!

To change the subject, I've prepared an excerpt from an upcoming novel for all you today. You'll recall that I first began this livejournal year ago with an excerpt from my then recent novel, The Passions of the Poltergeist, starring Chastity Thorne, who has quickly become a fan favorite character. Well, the story arc for Chastity in my mind has always been one epic and scope, and when you Loves demanded a sequel I was only too eager to oblige. So it is that I present to you now and super exclusive excerpt from the next Chastity Thorne novel, The Desires of the Doppelganger, on shelves this Christmas!
Chapter 1
Good Eats

Detective Chastity Thorne of the Corvallis Paracrime Division rolled over in bed, throwing her hand out pat the sleeping form beside her.

There was no one there.
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esmeralda sinn, supernatural romance, chastity thorne

Lady of the Evening

Hello, again, Loves! I hope this month finds you well.

Weddings plans for Menelaus and I are proceeding according to plan, guests lists are being made, et cetera and et cetera!! I really must come up with a way to thank Alissa when this is all over and done with, as she's only increased in her helpfulness in her most trying of times! Let's have a standing ovation for Alissa, shall we?

A few nights ago Menelaus and I were treated to an early screening copy of his latest Hollywood treat, The Legal Pad, and I will tell you here and now, Loves, it is probably the most superb Menelaus Parks feature to date. It combines everything: action, romance, drama, romance, comedy, and even a little romance! The lead actress, a young unknown with a winning smile, was highly praised by Menelaus for her portrayal of a free-spirited hippy named Rosetta Stone who is wrongfully implicated in several acts of student terrorism (a charge her protector, the rugged young lawyer John Westinghouse [Zac Efron, in a role for which my Menelaus himself composed several original musical numbers not present in the novel] must prove false). Highly recommended when it hits theaters at the end of this month!

In other news, here is today's taste of supernaturally romantic fiction! It is an entire short story, a sequel of sorts to the piece I posted last October, so reading that first might give a better handle on some of the characters. Like the October story, this is a little different in tone than what I usually write -- something that, in retrospect, seems inexplicable. But no matter! I think it was Shakespeare who said "Even genius does not understand itself!"
Lady of the Evening

I live, in a word, dangerously. It comes with my line of work, and I can’t say I complain. Not that I enjoy it one-hundred percent of the time, of course, but it was spelled out in the contract when I signed it. The Old Lady -- I called her the Old Lady before I called her the Boss -- made it very clear to me what I would be doing.

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esmeralda sinn, supernatural romance, chastity thorne

Spring is here!

Hello again, Loves! I hope my little prank last month for April Fools did not upset you all too much! Alissa tells me she had an absolute blast playing with you all for a day!

Anyway, as I am sure you can see, spring has sprung all about us and has been well underway for some time. Birds are in the air, the trees are green, and the colony of badgers living under my porch has birthed a new litter of happy, squealing pups! Menelaus insists he should do something about them for me, but every time we have a free moment we find ourselves otherwise preoccupied. Yes, Loves, spring is a good time for Esme this year!

Spring is also, they say, the time when a young man’s fancy turns to flowers. I think it appropriate, then, that today I post for you a three chapter excerpt from my upcoming novel Snapdragon -- a speculative take on what would happen if flowers turned into a young man’s fancy!

Chapter 1
Whose Woods These Are, I Think I Know

If it were not for the trees, Officer Felicity Thornquist would not have even known she was running through a forest.

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esmeralda sinn, supernatural romance, chastity thorne

The Metabrophosis


I've heard your pleas!  Do not think they fall upon deaf ears -- they are falling into my already overflowing mailbox!

Esme, you write to me, why have you been silent for so long?  You promised in your New Year resolutions to spend more time here, communing with us in the blogosphere.  We, the uncounted thousands who sent you letters of condolences after your failed attempts to procure a Weepie in February!

Well, my Loves, I must say I appreciate the sentiments I received last month.  There is nothing so great for an authoress than to feel the warmth and affection of her fans.  It is also amusing that you all maintain an interest in my personal affairs.  So I will tell you why I have fallen silent for so long; to put it shortly, something has come up.  Fortunately, answering the question the long way may afford me to make good on my earlier promises to let you, my Loves, in on my life and times.

So, as you may recall, last month I lost the Weepie to the esteemed romance author Menelaus Parks.  It was my initial reaction to be horrified or scandalized, and I posted some rather scathing remarks here on this blog.  I also posted a selection from one of Menelaus's novels which, as it turns out, was not within my legal rights.  Certain lawyers were called and complaints were lodged, and in the end this resulted in a personal meeting between me and Mr. Parks.

It turns out, my Loves, that we all had our heads in the wrong places.  Menelaus Parks is a fine man -- a kind and considerate human being, with a lot of heart, and a mind filled with infinite tales of true and lasting romance.  I am sure many of you know this already -- I am ashamed myself that I did not find out sooner.

You see, my Loves, Menelaus and I are scheduled to be married at the end of the year.

Yes, you read that correctly.  I, Esmeralda Sinn, will marry Menelaus Parks on October 31, 2009.  The two greatest names in romantic fiction will be united as one, and two souls, so much alike and yet separated for so long, will finally be joined together.  I hope you will join me in raising a glass of wine in celebration, my Loves.  This is an event a long time in the making.

In the meantime, of course, I will do my best to pay better attention to you, my dear, neglected web log.  This means a continued and steady supply of monthly articles and fictions -- some excerpts, some originals.  This month, as it happens, will be an original.  This is an Esmeralda Sinn story that has never seen publication before, one that I had completely forgotten I'd written until I found it in a desk drawer last week.  It is a wonderous story of life and love, and the ways in the which emotion brings human beings together.

The Metabrophosis

As Gregory Samson awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a monstrous tool.  He was lying on his back and if he lifted his head he could see written, from his point of view upside down on the t-shirt he now wore, a faded vintage silkscreen of a classic brand of American beer.  His arms, which were considerably muscular and tanned, rose up before his eyes.

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